My dad said that I’ve Never Earned an ounce of respect from him in my life. I’m pretty sure I’m as much a disappointment to my mother as I am to him.
I really shouldn’t be surprised though. It’s been like this my whole life. I’ve watched my sister get everything, while I get basically nothing. They won’t teach me how to drive, and I’m almost 20 years old now. They have never helped me get a job. They have never supported me in anything. They have never come to a review board and probably never will. They drove all the way to Cape Cod to have dinner with my sister but never came to visit my apartment in Boston. In middle school when i told them I was trying out for fast pitch softball, they literally told me I wasn’t good enough and was wasting my time.
All my life, the only motivation I have ever had was proving them wrong. They said I wouldn’t Graduate High school. They said I would never finish my Portfolio for art school. They said I wouldn’t make it in college.
And every day, I start to think they might be right. I know I am far from perfect, but everybody is. I know my Work ethic sucks. And I know I should try harder on some things. But for the past few years I have been working on being more positive, and all they ever do is put me down. Tell me I’ve never earned their respect, and that I’m lazy and a joke. That my artwork sucks. Never anything positive. Never any support from them in anything. I have done it all on my own.
That should count for something.
I know I need to do it for me. But the truth is, it’s hard for me to care enough to do it just for me. Proving them wrong has been the driving force behind EVERYTHING I have ever accomplished.
Maybe they’re just really good parents?
Or maybe they just put too much effort into my sister, and were satisfied on the first try.